Thursday, February 4, 2010

I, Ferryman.

I have an addiction, and I'll be the first to gladly admit it.

I love to write.

It's not so much out of boredom, or because school demands it, but because I have too.

Let me explain...

It's something that's ingrained in me, both mentally and physically. If I don't feel my fingers depressing upon a keyboard for more than fifteen minutes a day, then I start to get the shakes, begin to sweat, and if left long enough begin to have convulsions. And, I'm afraid to say, it's an addiction I can't sweat out. Trust me, I've tried.

I believe that everyone has at least one good story to tell in their lifetime. (I know I've stolen this from someone, but from whom I'm not sure. If anyone knows who this might be, then please drop me a note in the comments section and let me know. It'd be greatly appreciated!) But, like many people I'm different, in the respect that I have more than one story to tell.

And before anything further is said, I guess I should make the reader -- you -- aware that I have tried to just not write, but that just ain't going to happen, and here's why: my imagination won't let me.

The best way to explain it would be to use the analogy of too many people under one roof, at one time. If you have ever had relatives stay over at your house during a holiday, or ever put them together in a small cramped room, with no air conditioning, with a 120 degree temperature outside, and they haven't eaten all day, then you can probably relate to my predicament.

Imagine my mind as a 12 X 12 room at max capacity, and that there's always between thirty to fifty-five people occupying it at one time. It's hot, cramped, and people are pissed because they're well, hot, cramped and haven't eaten all day.

Whether by murder, or authority, someone is gunna get the boot.

This is the way I feel with all of the characters that occupy my mind. Now, I've tried booting their asses out, but they seem to find a way back in; I'm afraid that my mind isn't the 12 X 12 Impenetrable Fortress that I had thought it too be, because they keep showing up. I boot them out, each time a little bit harder than the last, and they still end up showing back up a few days later.

Through trial and error, I have found that the only way to get said characters out of the 12 X 12 Impenetrable Fortress in my head, I have to write them out. And usually, as soon as I write them out, a new character pops their head in a few hours later to see what's going on. Most times they stay.

I am ALWAYS writing people out.

Why? Because every character that shows up in the Impenetrable Fortress ends up staying a while, and after a few days/weeks/months, I get to know that character; I learn about them. What their favorite food is, their favorite color, who they're in love with, what their ambitions in life are, what they're afraid of; all of these things and more.

And just like everyone who has a story to tell, these characters have a story about them that needs to be told.

From out of thin air, to the 12 X 12 Impenetrable Fortress in my mind, to words on a screen -- produced by my very nimble fingers -- I am their ferryman, I get them from one side of the shore to another.

Without me, they wouldn't be aloud the privilege to come to life, and occupy a bunch of pages. I give them life, and I get them to where they need to go.

I'm a ferryman and a writer.

It's what I do.

Not by choice, but by necessity.

1 comment:

The Sci-Fi Guys said...

damn man thats deep. oh its ryan by the way lol